All the while she replayed the events surrounding her daughter’s life and death, mulling the circumstances that compounded the pain, and the kindnesses that offered slivers of relief. She thought often of the anonymous stranger who gave up a bed in the hospital sleep center so that she could rest for a few hours without being far from Eleanora. And she thought about the calls from the insurance company, asking when, precisely, they expected their daughter to die.
“Do you think she’s going to live for 10 days? Or do you think she’s going to live for more than 10 days? Because I have to fill out different paperwork,” Joyal remembers the insurance representative saying.
Joyal began applying her policy brain to the issue and found that parents who’ve lost children are a vastly understudied group. Yet the little research that has been done shows devastating results. “The National Academies of Science said in a report that child death is the most stressful [event] and enduring type of stress a person can experience,” she says. Other studies showed that losing a child results in increased likelihood of psychiatric hospitalization, cardiac problems and premature death.
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Monday, December 4, 2017
High-Tech Suicide Machine Makes Death a Painless, Peaceful, Optimal Way to Go | Alternet
Saturday, December 2, 2017
Readers shared their most intense postmortem social media moments.
Monday, November 27, 2017
Grief by Gwen FlowersHealing Arts_Poetry by Gwen Flowers
I had my own notion of grief.
I thought it was the sad time
That followed the death of someone you love. And you had to push through it
To get to the other side.
But I'm learning there is no other side.
There is no pushing through.
But rather, There is absorption. Adjustment. Acceptance.
And grief is not something you complete,
But rather, you endure. Grief is not a task to finish
And move on, But an element of yourself- An alteration of your being. A new way of seeing. A new definition of self.
Sunday, November 26, 2017
What a Home Funeral Is Really Like - True Story of Dying at Home
Tuesday, November 21, 2017
"I had totally failed my friend. I had wanted to comfort her, and instead, I'd made her feel worse. At that point, I still felt she misunderstood me. I thought she was in a fragile state and had lashed out at me unfairly when I was only trying to help. But the truth is, she didn't misunderstand me at all. She understood what was happening perhaps better than I did. When she began to share her raw emotions, I felt uncomfortable. I didn't know what to say, so I defaulted to a subject with which I was comfortable: myself. I may have been trying to empathize, at least on a conscious level, but what I really did was draw focus away from her anguish and turn the attention to me. She wanted to talk to me about her father, to tell me about the kind of man he was, so I could fully appreciate the magnitude of her loss. Instead, I asked her to stop for a moment and listen to my story about my dad's tragic death."
Celeste Headlee The Mistake I Made with My Grieving Friend