How to be sick : a Buddhist-inspired guide for the chronically ill and their caregivers

Toni Bernhard writes about her chronic illness from the perspective of mindfulness. It does not guarantee peacefulness or happiness or even acceptance. But it does help provide perspective that can make it possible for us to be fully present for ourselves and those who love and need us. Boorstein's book book How to be Sick helps teach us how the metaphors of battle may not help us as much as we hope. With an introduction from therapist Sylvia Boorstein, who has inspired many people with her guidance on mindfulness and her imprecation about dealing with life's challenges: "Don't duck."

Toni Bernhard got sick and, to her and her partner’s bewilderment, stayed that way. As they faced the confusion, frustration, and despair of a life with sudden limitations—a life that was vastly different from the one they’d thought they’d have together—Toni had to learn how to be sick. In spite of her many physical and energetic restrictions (and sometimes, because of them), Toni learned how to live a life of equanimity, compassion, and joy. This book reminds us that our own inner freedom is limitless, regardless of our external circumstances. Updated with new insights and practices hard-won from Toni’s own ongoing life experience, this is a must-read for anyone who is—or who might one day be—sick or in pain.

10 Things Not To Say to a Mom Of a Chronically Ill Child

"If I could, I would choose ignorance and health over experiential wisdom, unfortunately, in his life and his death, I've learned big lessons about how to support other parents of chronically ill children, what to say, and even more so, what not to say."

People mean to be kind and comforting and do not realize how painful their attempts to be reassuring can be.  Instead of "don't worry," "have faith," "you're so strong," just, "can I get you anything?" or sit quietly and let them talk.



10 Things Not To Say to a Mom Of a Chronically Ill Child