You have come to the right place, and we are glad you are here. This is a safe place to share stories of love and loss, devastating grief, exhausting care-giving, memorials, advanced directives, mourning, hope, and despair. We want to hear about about what you wish you had known or done differently, what you wish those around you had known or done differently, and what went right. We will never tell you to move on or find closure. "What cannot be said will be wept." Sappho
Friday, March 28, 2025
"Everybody Thinks that You Are Dead, But I"
A Quoi Bon Dire?” by Charlotte Mew
Seventeen years ago you said
Something that sounded like Good-bye;
And everybody thinks that you are dead,
But I.
So I, as I grow stiff and cold
To this and that say Good-bye too;
And everybody sees that I am old
But you.
And one fine morning in a sunny lane
Some boy and girl will meet and kiss and swear
That nobody can love their way again
While over there
You will have smiled, I shall have tossed your hair.
Sunday, March 16, 2025
Don't Spread Your Loved One's Ashes in a Public Place
From Rick Reilly in the Washington Post
I know, I know. He was the greatest person to ever live and “deserves” to have an eternal “view” from Yosemite or from the banks of Golden Pond or from the top of the Santa Monica Pier Ferris wheel.
Except 3.2 million people die every year in America, and, according to the National Funeral Directors Association, 62 percent ask to be cremated. That’s more than double the rate 20 years ago. And nearly half say they “would prefer to have their remains scattered in a sentimental place.” Which would mean nearly a million incinerated Americans annually coating the sequoias at Yosemite and choking the loons on Golden Pond and sprinkling the churros of Santa Monica. It’s just bad taste.
It can also be dangerous.
Monday, March 10, 2025
Witnessing Death
From CNN:
"Stories about shared-death experiences have been circulating since the late 19th century, say those who study the phenomenon. The twist in shared-death stories is that it’s not just the people at the edge of death that get a glimpse of the afterlife. Those near them, either physically or emotionally, also experience the sensations of dying."
Emily Levine Embraces Death
Emily Levine had stage 4 cancer when she gave this TED talk.
Life is an enormous gift, Levine says: "You enrich it as best you can, and then you give it back."
Sunday, January 12, 2025
Oliver Sacks Says Goodbye
Oliver Sacks, the neurologist and author, learned that he had terminal cancer. With his characteristic combination of objectivity and humanity, he wrote in the New York Times about his feelings on the last months of his life.
I cannot pretend I am without fear. But my predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved; I have been given much and I have given something in return; I have read and traveled and thought and written. I have had an intercourse with the world, the special intercourse of writers and readers.
Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and adventure.
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