"I know the desire to fill countless storage units with every last belonging of the deceased can feel insatiable. But trying to keep a person alive by surrounding yourself with the stuff that he or she cherished is just a dream. In reality, death is as natural as life, and possessions will never bring that person back. Below, find some practical advice — handed over with love and compassion, and based on real-life experience — for dealing with what can feel like an impossible task. Keep in mind, though: Coping with death is incredibly personal, and there’s no right or wrong way to go about it. Take your time, but acknowledge when you’re ready to take the plunge. Unfortunately, it will never be an easy time to go through this process. But there is an inevitability that should be recognized. Although there’s no “right” time to face this undertaking, I do believe that it gets harder the longer you wait. Give yourself a few months, and then ask yourself: Do I have the strength to do this? Will waiting be beneficial or detrimental to my well-being? And when you feel ready to take the step, go about it with patience and bravery. Moving on in this way does not mean you’re “over” anything. It’s easy to feel heartless when getting rid of belongings that were so much a part of a loved one’s life. But practicality and emotions can coexist, and focusing on real-world necessities is an important part of dealing with death. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that come along with this endeavor, and be kind to yourself throughout. I went through the entire process ridden with tears, and that’s okay. Remember that things are only things. If you allow yourself to put weight and value on every possession, you run the risk of burying yourself in the physical. So take a moment to tell yourself that the material is nothing more than that. Recognizing this will help you let go of items that aren’t particularly special and need not be held onto."
Loss Of A Loved One - Organizing, Packing Tips:
You have come to the right place, and we are glad you are here. This is a safe place to share stories of love and loss, devastating grief, exhausting care-giving, memorials, advanced directives, mourning, hope, and despair. We want to hear about about what you wish you had known or done differently, what you wish those around you had known or done differently, and what went right. We will never tell you to move on or find closure. "What cannot be said will be wept." Sappho
Sunday, April 3, 2016
After a Loved One Dies -- Dealing with the Stuff
Labels:
death of a parent,
grief,
loss,
mourning,
stuff
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