How To Avoid A Family Feud At The End Of A Loved One's Life

 "Sometimes such deathbed battles are not so much about the dying person’s wishes as they are a reenactment of old resentments and ancient rivalries. Bitter fights arise when adults under pressure regress to childhood sibling roles: the smart one, the dumb one, the bossy one, the martyr, the peacemaker. In the emotional turmoil of the dying time, rather than address the issue, they blame each other, the doctors, the nursing staff, or hospice for not doing more. Without prior conversations with everyone who may be in the patient’s room at the end of life, including out-of-town relatives, it is unrealistic to expect families to come to a quick, unified decision that satisfies everyone. The best way to avoid such outcomes when people can no longer state their own wishes is for every competent adult to assume personal responsibility to make decisions and open a conversation with anyone likely to be in the room at the end of life. The next step is to complete, then regularly review advance directives. Review these documents on birthdays and after a major life event such as a serious illness, marriage, divorce, or death. Identify and educate at least two healthcare agents about your wishes, and give copies of the directive to your doctors, lawyer, agents, and anyone likely to be in the room."


How To Avoid A Family Feud At The End Of A Loved One's Life