"Listen more, advise less. The 1992 classic pop-psych book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus posited that men are problem-solvers and quick to dispense advice, while women are connectors and apt to listen more. But when it comes to helping distressed and weary caregivers, all of us are prone to pushing tips, inspiring stories and resources that we’re sure will lighten their load. For caregivers who seek such advice, this can be helpful. For caregivers who don’t, it is often experienced as an intrusion or, worse, outright criticism of their own caregiving methods. To offer emotional support that’s comforting, just be present and listen. Caregivers will pick your brain if they need direction. Mostly, they will want you to be with them as a trusted witness and confidante.
Time is the greatest gift. Many caregivers have told me that caregiving locks them into whirlwind daily routines of attending to others’ needs. Above all else, they miss time for themselves — to go to the salon or bank, read a book, clean the house or catch up on sleep. The greatest comfort you may offer is the gift of time. Offer to sit with care receivers while caregivers take a break. Pick up supplies for caregivers so they can stay home and relax. Try to make yourself available to listen as often as they need to vent."
How to Really Help a Family Caregiver
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