Monty Python Song Now Number One for Funerals

They came of age in the “swinging sixties,” and now baby boomers are dying as they lived: ditching tradition and replacing it with Monty Python, pop songs and even fancy dress at their funerals.

The generation who grew up with the surreal comedians’ sketches and films is believed to be behind a surge in demand for the song Always Look On the Bright Side of Life at funerals, making it the most popular number to bow out to.

With its famously chirpy lyrics about the absurdity of life and the finality of death, the hit from the irreverent 1979 film Monty Python’s Life of Brian rose from the 13th most commonly chosen song three years ago to the top spot this year, research by The Co-operative Funeralcare revealed.

The more traditional choices of The Lord is My Shepherd and Abide with Me were pushed into second and third place respectively as the Python member behind the song, Eric Idle, proved that comedy conquers all.

Hits by Queen also proved popular choices of funeral music, with nine songs by the band - including Who Wants to Live Forever and Don’t Stop Me Now - among the most commonly chosen.


Notoriously sung from a position of crucifixion at the end of The Life of Brian, it’s become a plucky English anthem, even performed at the 2012 Olympics, and a twinkly stiff-upper-lip send-off. In November 2014, a study by a chain of funeral directors found the 1979 Life of Brian song had overtaken Frank Sinatra's My Way as the preferred choice of music.

Elvis Presley was the most requested solo singer.

Baby boomers jazz up their funerals with Monty Python and fancy dress

Reimagine End of Life Festival: Wonder, Prepare for, and Remember Loss

At the Reimagine Festival, people will gather to talk about all aspects of end of life.

In Wonder
There’s so much we don’t know about death. At Reimagine, take an opportunity to consider, reflect, daydream, philosophize, and learn through a set of unique and often enlivening experiences.


In Preparation
Preparing for death can be an opportunity to set intentions for our lives. Whether planning for ourselves or with loved ones, it’s important to clarify our wishes and consider the many logistical and emotional aspects of death and dying.


In Remembrance
We’ve all experienced loss. Come together to share stories, to connect through our shared experience of grief and loss, and to remember those who will always be with us.

The Obituary of a Beloved Mother, Daughter, and Opioid Addict

This obituary is heartbreaking and also wise and instructive.

It is impossible to capture a person in an obituary, and especially someone whose adult life was largely defined by drug addiction. To some, Maddie was just a junkie — when they saw her addiction, they stopped seeing her. And what a loss for them. Because Maddie was hilarious, and warm, and fearless, and resilient. She could and would talk to anyone, and when you were in her company you wanted to stay. In a system that seems to have hardened itself against addicts and is failing them every day, she befriended and delighted cops, social workers, public defenders and doctors, who advocated for and believed in her 'til the end. She was adored as a daughter, sister, niece, cousin, friend and mother, and being loved by Madelyn was a constantly astonishing gift....During the past two years especially, her disease brought her to places of incredible darkness, and this darkness compounded on itself, as each unspeakable thing that happened to her and each horrible thing she did in the name of her disease exponentially increased her pain and shame. For 12 days this summer, she was home, and for most of that time she was sober. For those 12 wonderful days, full of swimming and Disney movies and family dinners, we believed as we always did that she would overcome her disease and make the life for herself we knew she deserved. We believed this until the moment she took her last breath. But her addiction stalked her and stole her once again. Though we would have paid any ransom to have her back, any price in the world, this disease would not let her go until she was gone.

How to Write a Condolence Note

The New York Public Library is presenting our beloved Amy Cunningham to discuss how to write a condolence note.

Join funeral director and Green-Wood Cemetery educator, Amy Cunningham, for this workshop on how to write a condolence letter.

With death ever-present, condolence letters were mainstays of 19th-century life, missives of comfort written straight from the heart. Amy and participants will read copies of letters by Charles Dickens, Emily Dickinson, Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, and Queen Victoria herself with comparisons to modern letter writing. Participants will then review the principles of a good condolence letter. Amy Cunningham is a Brooklyn funeral director who helps families with green burials, cremation services in Green-Wood Cemetery crematory chapels, home vigils, and other sorts of memorials.

Dying Patients Forced in Twice as Much "Rehab" in For-Profit Facilities

The New York Times reports on a study showing that residents of for-profit assisted living facilities are given twice as much "rehab" as those who are not, even when they are close to death, suggesting that the services are more about revenues than the patient:

Nursing home residents on the verge of death are increasingly receiving intense levels of rehabilitation therapy in their final weeks and days, raising questions about whether such services are helpful or simply a lucrative source of revenue.

That is the heart of a new study published in the Journal of the American Medical Directors Association, which found that the practice was twice as prevalent at for-profit nursing homes as at nonprofit ones.

More broadly, the study’s findings suggest that some dying residents may not be steered to hospice care, where the focus is on their comfort.

Although the research is based on a relatively small number of patients in one state, it echoes what federal regulators have found in recent years.

It’s also a fresh reminder that families should keep a close watch on, and ask questions about, the kind of care their relatives are getting in nursing homes.

“Some of these services are being provided in the last week and sometimes on the day of their death,” said Dr. Thomas Caprio, one of the study’s authors. Dr. Caprio, who specializes in geriatric medicine, hospice and palliative care, is an associate professor at the University of Rochester Medical Center.

Rehabilitation services — physical, occupational and speech therapy — are “a potential revenue source for these facilities,” he added. “And when the plan of care shifts to hospice care and palliative care, that revenue stream disappears.”

An Obit with a Twist

This obituary for Rick Stein has a surprise twist at the end that is very touching.

Wilmington - Rick Stein, 71, of Wilmington was reported missing and presumed dead on September 27, 2018 when investigators say the single-engine plane he was piloting, The Northrop, suddenly lost communication with air traffic control and disappeared over the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Rehoboth Beach. Philadelphia police confirm Stein had been a patient at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital where he was being treated for a rare form of cancer. Hospital spokesman Walter Heisenberg says doctors from Stein's surgical team went to visit him on rounds when they discovered his room was empty. Security footage shows Stein leaving the building at approximately 3:30 Thursday afternoon, but then the video feed mysteriously cuts off. Authorities say they believe Stein took an Uber to the Philadelphia airport where they assume he somehow gained access to the aircraft.

"The sea was angry that day," said NTSB lead investigator Greg Fields in a press conference. "We have no idea where Mr. Stein may be, but any hope for a rescue is unlikely."

Stein's location isn't the only mystery. It seems no one in his life knew his exact occupation.

Holding an Illegal Shiva for My Mom

Mark Effron's rabbi told him that he could not hold a shiva for his mother because it was Sukkoth. He did it anyway.

Back at our house, we held a non-shiva shiva. Mirrors stayed uncovered, family and friends and colleagues descended upon our house and we talked about my mother well into the night. There was plenty of food, plenty to drink.

That’s when I realized that, though I might have felt thrown out of sync at first by the unexpected scheduling, it really was all for the good. My mother got a grand send-off, filled with at turns poignant and hilarious paeans to her warmth and sense of humor. And she would have loved the non-shiva shiva. It wasn’t interrupted by a minyan and solemnity. It was just a damn good party.

As my mother told us as we were planning her 90th birthday party in Florida three years ago:

”All I care about is that we’re all together….and the hall is nice…and the food is delicious.”

John Pavlovitz: Do Not Say This to People Who Are Grieving

John Pavlovitz writes about how kindly meant comments can be painful to hear:

They saw my total, alarming devastation, and in their urgency to alleviate some of it, did what good people do when other people they care for are grieving: they said things.

And often the things they said, as birthed from a beautiful place as they were—really hurt. What they so desired to be healing, actually poked the already massive wound in my heart, and made it worse.

It does not help to say: "God needed another angel," "He's in a better place," "Everything happens for a reason," "I know how you feel."

Just say: "I care about you." "I loved him/her." "I will cherish my memories of him/her." "I am sorry."

And do not ask if you can do anything. Just do something.

Is Assisted Death "Rebranding Euthenasia?"

A widow writes about her opposition to assisted death:

Hope inspired us to try standard and experimental treatments to combat J.J.’s cancer. Those treatments extended his life beyond the initial four-month prognosis to three and a half years. If we had relied on the initial prognosis, given in to the depression and given up on hope, we would have missed out on so very much. Our oldest son, James, would never have gotten to know his father; our youngest son, Lucas, would never have been born.

Getting through his darkest moments and the temptation to despair made J.J. realize that assisted suicide presents a very real risk for terminally ill patients like him. J.J. and I resolved to fight efforts to legalize assisted suicide, laws that prey on terminally ill patients when they are most vulnerable. Assisted suicide is legal in seven states and Washington, D.C. This is a tragedy, and one we can prevent.

J.J. served as president of the Patients Rights Action Fund, an organization that works on behalf of patients to oppose legalizing assisted suicide. We dedicated the last years of J.J.’s life to this because we recognized the "death with dignity" movement for what it is: a well-funded rebranding of euthanasia offering nothing but a message of hopelessness.

If our experience taught us anything, it is to hold on to hope for yourself and for others around you, especially in the face of life-threatening illness. You could be improving their lives, as well as your own.

Letter-writers responses (excerpts):

It’s a blessing to have that possibility for terminal patients, especially those who have immense pain. It galls me when people want to take that option away from others, just because they find it wrong. What works for others may not be feasible for you. We can make up our own minds.

Death with dignity isn’t for everyone. In fact, a very small percentage of terminally ill patients choose to use it. Often, the angels of hospice can keep dying patients comfortable until a disease runs its course. But death with dignity should remain a choice for those who wish to use it. The Hansons should not be allowed to limit the choices of others.

Palliative care Lengthens Life as Well as Improving It

A new study shows that "Patients with advanced cancer randomized to receive outpatient specialty palliative care lived longer and had better quality of life."