The parenting lessons I learned from my dying child - The Washington Post

Jennifer Golden writes about telling her young daughter that her little brother is is dying. <P><P>"Answering the question that is asked is the first step. The tougher part is fighting the urge to elaborate on that answer once delivered. I think of it as a “full-stop” approach, requiring disciplined conclusiveness: Listen to the question; answer that question and that question only; full stop; wait for the next question. The strategy has enabled me to break down complicated, weighty issues into “bite-sized” pieces that are more manageable for a kid’s developing brain to process. It gives the child time to digest the information she has heard and come back for more when she is ready. I have been surprised by the number of times Hannah has returned to a conversation out of the blue hours or even days later. I have benefited, too.  This technique enables me to give my kids answers without sharing my emotional baggage. Some of our conversations are fraught with emotional triggers, particularly when my girls have questions about their brother. But answering them directly and honestly and then waiting, sometimes with gritted teeth, for their next one forces me to follow my child’s lead instead of going down the rabbit hole of my own grief."

The parenting lessons I learned from my dying child - The Washington Post