Friday, August 28, 2015

Continuing bonds are a common, healthy, and enduring element in the resolution of grief. – Dennis Klass et al. 1996

The death of our children is one of the most disempowering events we will ever experience. In the aftermath, we can choose to empower ourselves by consciously engaging in activities that deepen the bond with our children.
Here are some suggestions: 
Find an item that reminds you of your child. If it is a blanket, wrap yourself in it, or cologne or perfume, spray yourself with it. Whatever item you choose, find a quiet space and time and invite your child to spend some time with you. 
Reflect on the great times that you shared and wish to share in your new relationship. Light a candle or burn some incense.  
Look at a photo album, or photos that you have on your computer. They can be pictures of friends, family, or pets. Share your specific memories of those photos with your children quietly or out loud, whatever works for you. 
Take a walk in nature or a leisurely drive. Bring your child’s picture or your unique linking object with you. Allow the positive memories to flow.  
Choose an activity that reflects the relationship that you shared with your child when he/she was alive. Be aware of what you experienced. Did you have a sense of peace, a chill or chills or discover other evidence of your child’s presence?
From David Roberts on Open to Hope

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