We all have that impulse to help (and we should ignore it) - Refuge In Grief

"My job is to tolerate my own helplessness in the face of her pain, without trying to relieve that helplessness by offering platitudes or false comfort.

My job is to know that showing up, being present, acknowledging the truth that this hurts, this hurts, this hurts is the best way I can love my friend.

And this is what we most want, isn’t it? That our friends and family members, the ones who most want to love and support us – we want them to be willing to feel their own helplessness. To learn to tolerate it, not act out of it.

We want them to stand beside us, not trying to fix what cannot be fixed, not trying to rush us out of our grief. We want them to stand there, without flinching, and acknowledge what is true: this hurts. This hurts. I’m here.

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'we all have that impulse to help (and we should ignore it) - Refuge In Grief