Raging as My Sister's Light Dims - Sara Lukinson

 "So, when people say, cherish every moment with your sister, she is still very much alive, it’s a lot of crap.

You watch her smile and stumble through the hallways, be patient through long rounds of needle jabbing, machine poking and fear-inducing lab reports. What kind of day is that?

When it’s all over, I know, from unwilling experience, I will cherish the hours of just being in the same room with her. The boredom and the terror will have evaporated and the sweet effortlessness of being together will remain.

But being in it is a slow dance in hell. You are helpless, you are afraid, you are restless and impatient. I want to be outside the circle of fire that rings our campsite, to run away and have it be back to normal."



Raging as My Sister's Light Dims - The New York Times

My brother is dead and I am still alive -- Sam Friedman

 "The first time you hear that someone you love is dead, the inclination is to disbelieve. At least, that’s how it was for me. The reason for this is simple: For as long as I have known my brother, he has been alive. This is a simple fact, one with no margin for error and no possibility of being misconstrued. When my Dad told me that this simple fact was no longer true, it simply did not compute. It was a direct affront to a truth so basic that when it finally broke through my confusion a moment later, it started wreaking havoc on my psyche pretty much immediately, deconstructing and reconstructing reality with a terrifying, menacing efficiency. And though the pace of the menace has slowed, it is this changing of fundamental fact that now, upon returning to an emotional stasis, continues to undermine me at every turn."



My brother is dead and I am still alive



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