A touching story of an old father, son and a sparrow

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10-Day SMART Decisions Challenge:

In the last months or days, these treatments can make things worse - The Washington Post

"Medical advances bring the promise of extending life, but some of the treatments used in a person’s last months, weeks or days — such as CPR for failing hearts, dialysis for failing kidneys and feeding tubes for those unable to nourish themselves — often do not provide more time and can worsen quality of life. Yet saying no to more treatment is tremendously hard to do, whether that decision is made by patients or by relatives for patients who are too infirm to express themselves."


In the last months or days, these treatments can make things worse - The Washington Post:

After a Loved One Dies -- Dealing with the Stuff

 "I know the desire to fill countless storage units with every last belonging of the deceased can feel insatiable. But trying to keep a person alive by surrounding yourself with the stuff that he or she cherished is just a dream. In reality, death is as natural as life, and possessions will never bring that person back. Below, find some practical advice — handed over with love and compassion, and based on real-life experience — for dealing with what can feel like an impossible task. Keep in mind, though: Coping with death is incredibly personal, and there’s no right or wrong way to go about it. Take your time, but acknowledge when you’re ready to take the plunge. Unfortunately, it will never be an easy time to go through this process. But there is an inevitability that should be recognized. Although there’s no “right” time to face this undertaking, I do believe that it gets harder the longer you wait. Give yourself a few months, and then ask yourself: Do I have the strength to do this? Will waiting be beneficial or detrimental to my well-being? And when you feel ready to take the step, go about it with patience and bravery. Moving on in this way does not mean you’re “over” anything. It’s easy to feel heartless when getting rid of belongings that were so much a part of a loved one’s life. But practicality and emotions can coexist, and focusing on real-world necessities is an important part of dealing with death. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that come along with this endeavor, and be kind to yourself throughout. I went through the entire process ridden with tears, and that’s okay. Remember that things are only things. If you allow yourself to put weight and value on every possession, you run the risk of burying yourself in the physical. So take a moment to tell yourself that the material is nothing more than that. Recognizing this will help you let go of items that aren’t particularly special and need not be held onto."

Loss Of A Loved One - Organizing, Packing Tips:

Photographer Tom Hussey Shows Us the Elderly as They See Themselves

Photographer Tom Hussey shows us that no matter what we see on the outside, the people we look at see themselves as vital and engaged.

The Difference Between Complicated Grief and Normal Grief

 "Following are some of the symptoms that can indicate your grief has shifted into complicated grief if you are still experiencing them six months to a year after the death of your loved one: • Persistent and invasive thoughts of your loss that disrupt daily activities • Avoiding or feeling consumed by reminders/memories of your loved one • Unable to accept the finality of the death • Intense yearning for your lost loved one • Feeling angry about the death • Feeling numb or confused, developing a loss of trust in others • Isolating from others • Suffering physical symptoms similar to that experienced in the deceased’s final illness • Feeling that life is meaningless and hopeless without your loved one "

The Difference Between Complicated Grief and Normal Grief

Executive Producing Your Own Goodbye - Modern Loss

Jane Condon on her father-in-law's meticulous plans for his body, his obituary, and his funeral.

"We’re better at welcoming new life into this world than we are at saying goodbye. But some point we all end up on the off ramp, regardless of whether we choose to realize it. But before we hit the exit, there are a few important things to consider: the body, the obituary, the service, and the afterparty. And my father-in-law, Hank, taught all of us how it’s done. Hank died last January at 92. In December, two doctors declined to operate on his leaky heart valve. They didn’t think he’d survive. So we had a wistful but wonderful Christmas with him as he furniture-walked around the house, grabbing at table and counter tops with labored breathing until he finally settled in on the TV room couch. Fortunately for all of us, Hank was an engineer and a planner. Years earlier we’d received a blue folder filled with notes on what to do in the event of his death. He sent us these thoughts in the year 2000. He re-sent them in 2008, complete with an addendum from his wife called “When We Drop Dead.”"


Executive Producing Your Own Goodbye - Modern Loss