One of Us -- Wendell Berry

One of Us  by Wendell Berry  Must another poor body, brought to its rest at last, be made the occasion of yet another sermon? Have we nothing to say of the dead that is not a dull mortal lesson to the living, our praise of Heaven blunted by this craven blaming of the earth? We must go with the body to the dark grave, and there at the edge turn back together—it is all that we can do—remembering her as she is now in our minds forever: how she gathered the chicks into her apron before the storm, and tossed the turkey hen over the fence, so that the little ones followed, peeping, out of the tall grass, safe from the lurking snake; how she was one of us, here with us, who is now gone.

What Older Patients Need From Doctors

A panel of elderly advisors tells medical students that they need doctors who can listen.

"Efforts to introduce relatively healthy older adults to medical students can 'reduce the sense of futility and show [the students] that there are real people with real lives who can benefit from quality health care,' said Chris Langston, program director at the John A. Hartford Foundation, which focuses on aging and health, who has been analyzing the trend for the past several years."



What Older Patients Need From Doctors

Talking to Family Members about Cognitive Decline

Cognitive decline can quickly become a serious issue in any family. Identifying concerns, preferences and goals may help a family prepare for the decisions that come along with cognitive health issues.

By 2050, the number of Americans with Alzheimer’s disease is expected to nearly triple to 13.8 million.1And, in a recent survey conducted by Merrill Lynch, 54% of respondents said Alzheimer’s is the scariest disabling condition that one can encounter later in life. Against that backdrop, preparing is essential for our aging population, especially older wealthy individuals, who can be prime targets for fraud and other types of abuse.

Talking about cognitive decline is crucial. Yet discussing what to do if one becomes mentally incapacitated can be one of the hardest steps in a process. It requires both sensitivity and practicality. The resources on this page will help you consider some of the best ways to start these difficult conversations."



The full report on memory loss and your family.

What do You Want for EOL?

WHAT WOULD BE MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU
IF YOU BECAME CRITICALLY ILL?



• 66% say being comfortable and living without pain.

• 60% say ensuring that family isn’t burdened by tough decisions.

• Just 7% say receiving all the care possible to prolong life.



For more information.

Mothering My Dying Friend - The New York Times

 "In a Venn diagram of tending helpless people at the extremes of life, the circle of caring for a dying person overlaps almost completely with the one for caring for a baby. Both are repetitive, intimate, often gross, sometimes funny, weirdly frantic even as they’re crushingly tedious, and a total act of devotion. In the nonoverlapping part of the end-of-life circle, there’s pain, grief, despair and a dreadful fading. There is movement not forward, toward consciousness, but backward, away from it. And for all of your endless patience there is nothing at the end. Just death, and your only job is a kind of mothering right up to the lip of the abyss.

"



Mothering My Dying Friend - The New York Times:

Book Q&As with Deborah Kalb: Q&A with Kelley Clink

Deborah Kalb interviews author Kelley Clink about her book, A Different Kind of Same, a memoir of her brother's suicide and the grief that followed.



"My brother’s death shattered that armor. Grief stripped me down to my rawest self, and I had no idea how to handle everything I was feeling. Actually, I didn’t know how to handle anything I was feeling.

And I didn’t know how to talk about it. I was terrified to talk about it. I’d conditioned myself to hide messy and complicated emotions for so long, I was sure that anyone who knew the depth of my grief would turn and run from me, screaming.

Writing broke those big, messy, complicated emotions into manageable pieces. It helped me get some of the chaos out of my head. But most important, when I found the right words for those feelings, when the words came from my fingers instead of my mouth, they were much easier to share."



Book Q&As with Deborah Kalb: Q&A with Kelley Clink

3 Ways For Dealing With Grief, From Someone Who Lost A Parent As A Teenager - MTV

"Grief is all around us. It’s not something tangible, not something you can necessarily see or pinpoint. The tentacles of grief have no expiry point; no magic moment where it stops. It can subside, sure, but leave? Never.

One in every 1,500 secondary school pupils dies each year. One in seven Americans will lose a parent or sibling before the age of 20. So why aren’t we, as a society, talking about grief?"



Don't be afraid to talk about it.  Sometimes that means letting people know it is all right to talk to you.



3 Ways For Dealing With Grief, From Someone Who Lost A Parent As A Teenager - MTV