Thinking About Having a ‘Green’ Funeral? Here’s What to Know - The New York Times

"The specifics of a green burial vary widely, but typically they require far fewer resources for the care of the body and skip a number of the traditional steps, making them better for the environment. Plus, they can save families on funeral costs. Interest in these pared-down, eco-friendly options has grown as people look for ways to cut their carbon footprint. Nearly 54 percent of Americans are considering a green burial, and 72 percent of cemeteries are reporting an increased demand, according to a survey released earlier this year by the National Funeral Directors Association....Here is what Americans put in the ground each year through traditional burials: 20 million feet of wood, 4.3 million gallons of embalming fluids, 1.6 million tons of reinforced concrete, 17,000 tons of copper and bronze, and 64,500 tons of steel, according to the Green Burial Council. Green burials eliminate much of this waste by leaving out almost all of those materials; most bodies are simply wrapped in shrouds made from a biodegradable material like cotton and placed in the ground. And although cremations often have the reputation as being an eco-friendly option, they tend to have an outsize carbon footprint.

... The Green Burial Council’s website has information, a list of providers and additional resources for people interested in green burial. The Order of the Good Death, a collective of funeral professionals, academics and artists, has an informative page about green burials. Looking for a green burial for you and your pet? Visit the Green Pet-Burial Society.




Thinking About Having a ‘Green’ Funeral? Here’s What to Know - The New York Times

How to Really Help a Family Caregiver

"Listen more, advise less. The 1992 classic pop-psych book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus posited that men are problem-solvers and quick to dispense advice, while women are connectors and apt to listen more. But when it comes to helping distressed and weary caregivers, all of us are prone to pushing tips, inspiring stories and resources that we’re sure will lighten their load. For caregivers who seek such advice, this can be helpful. For caregivers who don’t, it is often experienced as an intrusion or, worse, outright criticism of their own caregiving methods. To offer emotional support that’s comforting, just be present and listen. Caregivers will pick your brain if they need direction. Mostly, they will want you to be with them as a trusted witness and confidante.

Time is the greatest gift. Many caregivers have told me that caregiving locks them into whirlwind daily routines of attending to others’ needs. Above all else, they miss time for themselves — to go to the salon or bank, read a book, clean the house or catch up on sleep. The greatest comfort you may offer is the gift of time. Offer to sit with care receivers while caregivers take a break. Pick up supplies for caregivers so they can stay home and relax. Try to make yourself available to listen as often as they need to vent."


How to Really Help a Family Caregiver

When a Grieving Mother Talks, Listen - The New York Times

 "We shouldn’t have to swallow our sorrow for the comfort of society, so if someone is brave enough to speak the truth of their Aidan, please listen. Just sit still and let us spill our shards because maybe if they do not have to be collected so quickly, they will lose just a little bit of their sharpness. We have not evolved enough to care for women like me, not yet anyway. But I have hope that if you can listen and let us speak our truths, perhaps one day we will get there."


When a Grieving Mother Talks, Listen - The New York Times:

Let’s Talk About Suicide – Spencer J. Cox – Medium

Utah's Lt. Governor is speaking out about suicide to make it safe for the kinds of conversations that can prevent it.

"As the students were leaving, a 13-year old girl asked if she could give me a hug. “Of course!” I replied. As she hugged me, she whispered in my ear, “Thank you for talking about suicide. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, and I needed to hear you say that today.” We moved to the corner and talked for a minute. I told her we desperately need her on this earth. She promised me she would stay. She cried. I cried. We hugged again. I grabbed her teachers and administrators, and they promised they would follow up with her and get her the help she needs. I went back to my office with a lump in my throat and cried some more. Life is so precious. Kids can be impulsive. So, let’s do this together. Let’s lock up our guns. Let’s all download the SafeUT app. Let’s put away our phones and start connecting more. And — seriously — let’s start talking about suicide."

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: Let’s Talk About Suicide – Spencer J. Cox – Medium

Let’s Talk About Suicide – Spencer J. Cox – Medium

The Pain of Grief

Giovanni Segantini

Poem: When You Meet Someone Deep in Grief

When You Meet Someone Deep in Grief

Slip off your needs
and set them by the door.

Enter barefoot
this darkened chapel

hollowed by loss
hollowed by sorrow

its gray stone walls
and floor.

You, congregation
of one

are here to listen
not to sing.

Kneel in the back pew
make no sound

let the candles
speak.



Patricia McKernon Runkle

John Pavlovitz: The Grieving Need You Most After the Funeral

John Pavlovitz writes about the importance of support and companionship when the shock of grief begins to wear off. "One of the truths I discovered, that when you lose someone you love—people show up. Almost immediately they surround you with social media condolences and texts and visits and meals and flowers. They come with good hearts, with genuine compassion, and they truly want to support you in those moments. The problem, is that you’re neither prepared nor particularly helped by the volume then. The early days of grief are a hazy, dizzying, moment by moment response to a trauma that your mind simply can’t wrap itself around. You are, what I like to call a Grief Zombie; outwardly moving but barely there. You aren’t really functioning normally by any reasonable measurement, and so that huge crush of people is like diverting thousands of cars into a one lane back road—it all overwhelms the system. You can’t absorb it all. Often it actually hurts...Just as the shock begins to wear off and the haze is lifted and you start to feel the full;gravity of the loss; just as you get a clear look at the massive crater in your heart—you find yourself alone.
 "

The Grieving Need You Most After the Funeral