Doctors should let dying patients make their own decisions - The Washington Post

“Don’t you want to do everything to save your dad?” one doctor asked me. Yes, I loved my father. But he, my mother and I also knew that glioblastoma is invariably fatal. Doing everything was not the only choice.

The next day my dad kept saying that he wanted a “minimally invasive approach,” that he did not want chemo and radiation. He said this to anyone who would listen, but no one seemed to be listening. Instead, he was already scheduled for surgery. When the surgeon finally arrived the night before surgery, we stood in the bustling hall outside my father’s room. I looked up at the imposing doctor, screwed up my courage and asked: “How long will he live without surgery and how long with surgery?” His reply: “Simple. Eight weeks without surgery and eight months with surgery.” ....

This was all exactly what my dad wanted to avoid: pain from surgery, nausea from chemotherapy, the bother of going back and forth to the hospital for care. He preferred eight weeks of being with his family over eight months of disability and unpleasant treatments.

After my dad elected not to have surgery, it felt as if the hospital threw him out. “There is nothing we can do for him,” somebody said as they showed us the door. I am pretty sure the person was a social worker — one who made me feel as though I did not love my dad because I was not doing everything to extend his life.

Once home, however, my dad had six great weeks. He felt fine, and his friends and relatives spent weekends with him. We laughed over old photo albums. He retained enough brain capacity to impart some life wisdom to me....The hardest part about my father’s care was getting his doctors to listen to what he wanted. A bad prognosis doesn’t mean that aggressive treatment involving pain and suffering is the only solution. Most patients don’t know that, because it is easier for a doctor to deliver a message of hope. It is easier for patients and loved ones not to ask the hard questions.

Doctors should let dying patients make their own decisions - The Washington Post: