Torie Bosch: Grief Is Messy and Complicated

From Slate:

I didn’t blame those who were at a loss for what to say or do. It’s hard to know what’s appropriate if you aren’t particularly close to someone who loses a loved one (and even harder when the cause of death is something particularly fraught, like suicide). As a result, people often become paralyzed, and then consequently feel guilty. But that doesn’t need to be the case.

Bosch lists forms of support from best (gifts of service and time -- helping with children or pets, making meals, running errands, sitting with the grieving person), notes (handwritten letter, followed by card, email, even social madia).

People are often afraid to say the wrong thing, so they say nothing. Something is better than nothing. Just say, "I'm so sorry." Then let the grieving person talk or not talk.